Missing mommy
by Errol's Feather
Summary: When DJ goes back to the honeybee slumber party with Stephanie she starts to think about how much she miss her mom, and how she should have been there.


**_Author's Note: _**I was watching a rerun the other day when this idea came to me. After episode 4x4 slumber party.

* * *

**_Missing Mommy _**

DJ looked at Stephanie, smiling brightly at her wearing her makeup, having fun. She couldn't help but to think back to when she was a honeybee and their mother had taken her to the exact same slumber party many years back. She had been the same age as Steph, all excited to go, her first slumber party and she was to try makeup for the very first time. She however suspected her mother to know she had already tried hers on a couple of times, when she wasn't looking.

"You okay, DJ?" Stephanie asked, as her bigger sister seemed deep in thought.

"I'm okay," she said with a nod, smiling at her, so she would not think otherwise. But the thing was that she was not fine at all. She missed her mother; this was not the plan, for her to pass on so fast. She should have been there to see both Stephanie and Michelle grow up. To see her get ready for her prom, to see when she got married. Sometimes, well a lot of times actually it made Donne Jo Margaret Tanner so frustrated that she was not.

To see mothers and daughters shopping together and having fun, it hurt. It hurt more than she could possibly describe knowing they had what she had not like now. Looking at Stephanie playing with the other girls she was feeling a bit out of place, not old enough to be a mother, but too old she felt to be playing like this. She smiled bravely at her sister though, she always would. She was the oldest and she should be the strong one. Show no fear, no sorrow.

Little did they know that sometimes late night, after Steph had fallen asleep she sometimes still cried after her mother. She might be able to put on a brave face, but when she was all alone, she could let the facade fall and be herself.

Stephanie came over and hugged her tight, oh how she loved her little sister, both of them.

They had some qualities making them a lot like their mother, and then again so did she. Donna Jo had never thought much about it, but the fact was that by appearance she did look a lot like their mother Pamela, she never taught much about it. She was her own person; still she to her father was one of the three things that kept her mother's memory alive. She combed Steph's soft hair, wondering even if it was way to early what it would be like doing that with her daughter. Remembering what it had been like when her mother did that with her. It had made her feel treasured, loved, having those moments with her, talking to her about what she was going to do for school that day and of course other things.

Hearing how the mother's whispered goodnight to their daughter's, it was like a dagger in her heart got twisted in pain. A shiver running through her, feeling confused, maybe a bit sad even. She felt Steph's hand on her own as she whispered, "Thank you for coming with me DJ."

"You are welcome, squirt," said Donna Jo in a loving tone. She was smiling even, glad she had come with her, so her sister could experience it as well.

"You think she's watching us...mom?" Stephanie's voice was filled with wondering. 'So young, yet so smart,' DJ thought.

"I'm sure she is," said the older girl, confirming that with a nod. She was sure that wherever she was her mother was watching over them, somehow.

Steph seemed satisfied with this answer and smiled at her saying, "I love you, DJ."

"And I love you," said DJ, hugging her closer.

"Sisters forever?" Stephanie's voice sounded insecure.

"Forever and ever," said DJ and kissed her forehead gently. She knew that no matter how annoying her sister could be she would always love her. She was lucky to have her she knew. She sighed as she fell asleep listening to her breath as she always did, after all they did share a room at home.

* * *

It was the next day and the two girls were returning, chattering happily about what they had just been through, things happening at the slumber party. DJ was opening the door to their house, seeing their father. He smiled at them and asked, "So how was it, did you have fun?"

"Dad, it was so great, DJ let me borrow makeup and put on her, and she put on me also. i looked great, even better than the other girls. Then we popped popcorn and watched this really great movie, it was about a princess and a prince and they lived happily ever after and it was so cute. Daddy, do you think I'll marry a prince some day?" she asked.

"I'm sure you will," he said, looking over at his oldest daughter, she was smiling. He knew it had to be hard for them being there. As Stephanie rambled on walking into the kitchen he followed a few steps behind. Holding DJ back, he looked at her, asking, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, dad," she would brush it of as always with that smile he loved so much.

"Are you sure?" his eyes showed concern.

"I will be," she said with a nod. She knew her loss, their loss, it would always be there, but she was getting better slowly, day by day.

"Good, I am proud of you," he said and smiled at her.

"Why?" she wanted to know.

"For being such a great big sister and taking care of her last night," he said giving her a hug, this time without her going oh dad. She nodded, continuing into the kitchen hearing Steph tell Joey and Jesse about the night before full of excitement. She shook her head, knowing that no matter what happened she would always be her father's big girl and she would forever and ever love him, her uncle Jesse and Joey. However the ones she would love the most would be Stephanie and Michelle, she laughed, of pure joy this time, hearing about how she was telling about how a girl at the slumber party laughed until soda came out her nose. Steph smiled at her and DJ knew she would be okay, they both would.

* * *

Thank you for reading, feedback is always appreciated :o)


End file.
